Sedey.. sedey.. sedey...
Ok.. sgt2 sedey bila anak dah x nak direct feed. Bila bagi dia meraung2 tolak2 nipple tu keluar dari mulut dia. meraung macam kena dera ok. macam terpaksa sangat la bila bg direct feed ni. aduh anak... sedey mummy... :(
Some history, giving Suri Formula Milk (FM) was never in my dictionary at all as a mother. Memang dari mengandung dah niat nak BF Suri the whole of 6 months and extend it to 2 years kalau ada rezeki. Tapi 6 bulan tu mmg seboleh2nya la nak bg BM je. Memang x pnh la sesekali pun usha FM on the market. And of cos bila dah lahir, xde istilah2 standby2 FM ni. Sebab to me kalau standby sure akan guna sbb kita tahu there is something standby for our baby and tak bersungguh BF.
Call me selfish.. i learnt my lesson. Yes, siapa yang x nak bagi yang terbaik untuk anak dia kan? And to me, BM is the best. So after delivery, seboleh2 bersengkang mata sbb nak bagi Suri BM. I don't mind at all. Of cos, penat and stress sebab suri asyik nangis je, but I want the best for her right? So i let her latched until forever... mmg sangat2 lama ok, everytime Suri latched... and I thought she get the enuf milk but I was wrong!
As days went by, I tgk Suri makin susut, kulit dia start berkedut2. Tak pernah terfikir pun she was losing her weight. And it was because SUSU X CUKUP!
Since then, after 40 days Suri lahir, bermula la kisah Suri dan FM. Memang sangat sedey ok sbb hajat nak bg fully BM tak kesampaian. But ms dekat hospital where Suri was admitted sebab UNDERFEEDING, a lactation nurse came to me and said:
"Puan, susu ibu ni rezeki anak. If banyak susu, banyak la dia dapat, if sikit susu, sikit la dia dapat. Tapi x kan nak biarkan anak berlapar kan"
And I redha.
My "want the best" for Suri was actually jeopardizing her growth. I was selfish! Memang sepanjang bagi dia susu tu, dia asyik nangis je. Ramai yang ckp sbb dia x puas, dia lapar lagi etc etc. My dad even asked if I should add FM. But i got really angry and upset at that time sebab i thought they were not supportive enuf utk i BF my baby.
Before this, I selalu fikir, kenapa la some mothers cepat betul add FM to their babies' diet. Apa la susah sgt nak BF. Perhaps just plain lazy? Malas nak bersengkang mata bg BM. BF kan senang, x payah nak bancuh2 susu tgh2 malam tu. selak je baju and can even lie next to your baby sambil BF.
Yeap! It was like a slap to my face.. and i am chewing my own words!
BF is easy once u got the hang of it. But whether susu cukup utk anak atau x it is not you who decide. Apparently, supply vs demand does not work with us. Suri latched for so long tapi supply still x dpt menepati kehendak dia. She actually drink double than what i can supply. Bayangkan dekat hospital, all this while i bg dia 2oz per feeding. Rupa2nya she can finish up to 4oz and sometime nurse kena top up lagi 2oz. so max per feeding she can go up to 6oz!! Patut la nangis je anak mummy sebelum ni.. sorry sayang...
Bila dah jadi macam ni, I can understand why those mums yang bg FM to their babies, they could be having certain problems that we do not know. Bukan suka2 je x nak bg BM. well except few yg mmg x nak bg BM langsung sbb nak diet cepat lepas bersalin... but itu hak masing2 la kan.
Back to Suri x nak DF dah... ok ini semua gara2 dah syiok minum guna botol ok and also maybe because my milk production is slowing down. Dia pun malas nak hisap sebab lambat baru keluar. Huhu. And I have been expressing my milk most of the time jugak... last2 jadi la mcm ni. Memang sedeh.. tapi apa kan daya. I still bagi dia DF bila nak tido kan dia. Melalak la sampai penat... and lepas tu upah dgn botol susu... either EBM or FM.