I have been wanting to write about this ever since the little one came out. It is truly an unforgettable experience for me as a 1st time mummy. Bila beranak ni, susah senang bahagian masing2. As for me, kisah bersalin I x semudah yang disangka. Mungkin ni dugaan yang I kena lalui. Allah bg 9 months pregnancy yg smooth sailing so ujian Dia to me masa beranak. Tapi Alhamdulillah semuanya selamat.
Wednesday, 10 July 2013 - 38w2d
My birth plan was to induce me when I was at my 38 weeks since I had a pregnancy diabetes (GDM). Doctor decided not to wait until the 40 week as chances for a GDM mother to deliver a big size baby is high. So I chose 10 July to be admitted and induced. Why i chose 10 July, sebabnya, that day was my dad's birthday juga. Kononnya nak bg dia birthday present la on the day. Tapi kita hanya merancang Allah jua yang menentukan segalanya.
That day was also the 1st day of Ramadhan. So after sahur (thanks to mama and ayah sebab hantar makanan utk Rizal sahur pagi tu), I did some last minute packing, solat subuh, and terus siap2 nak ke hospital. On the way to the hospital, mmg dup dap dup dap dalam hati ni. Siap fikir malam nanti, dah dpt ke dukung baby, cium2 baby. Before sampai hospital sempat la mintak maaf kat suami. Mmg sebak masa ni. And of cos, seriously I mmg x pandai mintak maaf. So ms mintak maaf tu, untuk x rasa sedeh sgt, I twisted my ayat a little bit. Instead of mintak maaf, I tanya dia whether dia dah maafkan i for all my wrongdoings to him and halalkan makan minum I. I told him, he has to redha for anything that is yet to happen. Huhu mmg sedih ok. I think dia pun nak nanges masa tgh driving tu. Hihi.
So when we reached the hospital, terus naik level 3 where the labor ward is. I was asked to give everything to my husband. I just bawak masuk my insulin injection and surah yassin. Lepas salam and kiss2, I pun masuk la labor ward. Hubby dah bawa diri dia tunggu kat level 2 but the nurse did tell him he can come out at 9.30am for updates.
My gynae came and mula la seisi selok menyelok. Mmg belum ada bukaan la lagi kan. So doctor pun masuk kat ubat induce to kat dlm my vjj. She said, if no progress, next ubat will be inserted at 11am and another one at 2pm.
Jumpa DH kat luar, borak2, update apa yg patut then masuk ward balik. Dalam ward mmg x buat apa pun, baring je la. sambil tu baca je la doa, zikir, yassin, nak minta bukaan cepat buka.
VE time.. cervix was soft and stretchable but no dillation yet. Doctor inserted another ubat induce in my vjj.
Next VE... dillation was 1cm... :( mmg frust sgt masa tu. And i was already tired from waiting and hoping... Doctor inserted another ubat. And I was asked to jalan2 so to help the cervix to open fast.
To cut the story short, my dillation was very very very slow. 12 hours later after the 1st induced pun bukaan was only 3cm. At that time, it was already 8pm. I can still bear the pain from the contraction. What i could not bear was the back ache, sakit pinggang, sakit pinggul.. u name it. After the doctor did the vaginal examination that night, i was asked to rest and get some sleep. I was kinda frustrated that my baby didn't come out that very day... tak dapat sama birthday dengan atok dia... tapi who are we nak melawan takdir.. dah tertulis, baby tak lahir aritu.
Thursday, 11 July 2013 - 38w3d
I woke up the next morning with sounds from doctor and nurses talking next to me. They were looking at my chart that showed my contractions and baby's heartbeat. Dalam mamai2 tu, doctor ckp, "Puan, kita nak tgk bukaan ye" I just nodded.
It was around 7am if I was not mistaken. And dillation at that time was only 4cm. Bang! It was already 24 hours since my first induction but the dillation was only 4 cm. Then the doctor said, "Ok puan, dah 4cm, kita nak pecahkan air ketuban ye. Then kita masuk kan ubat dalam drip untuk cepatkan contraction so bukaan u lagi cepat". At that time, mmg dah x fikir apa dah. U just want the baby to come out. Not because of the pain, but because of the long hours of waiting. Dah la lepas pecahkan air ketuban, we cannot eat!
My bad, I should have asked to see my husband before air ketuban dipecahkan cos once it was broken, dah x boleh jalan2 dah. Terbaring je la atas katil with the CTG tied to your tummy to monitor the contractions and baby heartbeat. So seharian la tak jumpa suami. Dah la hp pun x leh bwk masuk. I know that he was being updated by the nurse everytime he came up but, it was not the same kalau tgk sendiri. Right?
So I was lying on the bed waiting... waiting.. waiting.... next VE will be at 11am.
Around 9 am, my back, waist, pelvic were aching like mad. So I immediately asked for a painkiller. I was given a painkiller by injection at my butt. Can't remember the name but it definitely made me sleepy. When they did the VE at 11am, the dillation was 5cm so they decided to push me into a single room. They were so confident that I will deliver my baby in just few hours away. So from the ward of 4 where I stayed since I admitted, I was pushed to the labor room.
In the labor room, I was also given the happy gas. I wasn't sure if I used it correctly but it surely didn't make me happy. I was more sleepy actually.. could be the effect from the injection earlier but funny was i couldn't sleep at all. The pain was horrified. Dalam menahan rasa sakit tu, one of the doctors who was handling my case asked if I wanted an HappyDural (Epidural). I was so surprised that it was easily offered. Then I asked her for her opinion whether I should take it or not and she said yes. And I took it. It was funny how I made the decision to take it as I have been discussing with husband before that I do not want to take it. Poking needle into ur spine was so scary! I blame the painkiller for making me dizzy and not thinking straight and decided on the epi!
Seriously, up until now, I do not know if taking epi was something I should have regretted or not. It was not that bad at all. Once I was on epi, it was like being on cloud. I don't feel the pain anymore. And since I was sleepy from the beginning, I ended up sleeping from 1pm (right after I started epi) till 5pm.
At around 5 pm, the doctor who was the team lead for that night did his rounding. After my case had been explained to him, he asked the doctor in charge of my case of the next plan in the event that the dillation was still slow at the time the next VE is done. And the doctor in-charged said that, since the baby was not distressed so it was ok to wait. However, the leader said nope, looked at me and said:
"Puan, by hook of by crook, u will deliver your baby before 12am tonite, either by normal delivery if by 7pm ur dillation is already 9 or 10cm or if it is still slow progress, we will call it an exit plan which mean you will deliver your baby through csec. It has been 2 days and we do not want your baby to be distressed. So we need to plan the next course of action now."
Honestly, at that time, I dah takde perasaan dah. All i wanted was the waiting game to end and for my baby to be safely delivered. And so I agreed to the plan.
At 7pm, when the VE was done, as expected, my dillation was only 6cm. So plan untuk c-sec was carried out. They prep me for the c-sec procedure. Lucky enuf I have already on epi so they only needed to increase the dose of the epi for me to be half awake during the operation.
I was pushed to the OT at around 7.45pm. Serious trauma giler masa tu since that was my 1st operation ever. I was all shaky and the OT was so cold. Seriously, mmg takut yg melampau. Masa on the way ke OT, dapat la jumpa hubby. He kissed me and suruh baca ayat kursi banyak2. mmg rasa nak nangis sangat masa tu.
By the time i was in the OT, my body was already half paralysed. Mmg susah jugak la the attendants nak angkat sbb berat kan. hehe. I can barely move. Can't even feel my tummy down! In the OT, they changed my clothes, well, i was naked but of course I was covered. It was damn freezing! mmg x dapat di ucap kesejukan dalam OT tu... mengigil2 ok! For some reason, even though I was half awake, I just could not pay attention to what was happening. Rasa mamai, x focus, mengantuk.. and yeap, I think i slept half way through the procedure. Dalam mamai2, sedar x sedar tu, tiba2..
"uwaaa... uwaa.. uwaaa..."
Ya Allah, subahanAllah, maha suci Allah. Alhamdulillah, anak mummy! Then one of the nurses said "Puan, puan ok tak? Baby dah keluar ye, dengar tak baby nangis?". Ok, mummy pun nangis jugakk.. berlinang air mata.. tears of happiness!
While the doctor stitched me back, I can't help thinking about my newborn, masa tu mmg doa sangat semoga baby sempurna, cukup sifat, sihat. All the bad thoughts sempat singgah dalam kepala masa tu. Tengah2 fikir tu, then I heard the nurse, "Puan, buka mata puan, tgk anak puan ni"
SubahaAllah, cantiknya anak mummy.. indah sungguh ciptaan yg Esa. I asked the nurse "Semua ok ke anak saya?" and the nurse said "Alhamdulillah, semua ok". I kissed her chubby cheek for awhile before the nurse took her for hubby to azan.
And so the rest was history...
Above all, i sgt2 bersyukur semuanya selamat. Pengalaman yang tak boleh dilupakan. Not only before delivery but the experience of menahan sakit lepas operation pun mmg x dapat dilupakan. Sakit yang teramat bila bius dah hilang. Rasa senak sgt dlm perut and kat jahitan luar tu mcm disiat2 kulit and isi. Oh serious, i cant imagine the pain. Siapa kata c-sec lagi senang dr normal delivery? well, I used to say that. Now it was like a slap to my face. Lol.
Before this, bila dgr org bersalin c-sec, I always feel that they are lucky to escape the sakit perit bersalin normal. To me org bersalin c-sec ni mcm get to be on the easy way out utk delivery their baby. well.. well... well.. so now, Allah nak tunjuk balik kat I that my views were definitely wrong! Bila kita sendiri melaluinya, then I know it myself how painful it was.. samada bersalin normal or c-sec, semua tu bahagian masing2 and dua2 pun ada rasa sakitnya cuma of course sakit yg berlainan.