Looking back into the year 2008

It took me a while to sit and think of what had happened in the year 2008. Despite of all the ups and downs, 2008 had surprisingly been a good year for me. Despite of all challenges in life that i had to face, 2008 had indeed make me grow matured and stronger and wiser for that matter.

Life was great the first half of 2008. I went through the days with nothing much on my mind except with the hopes that the year will be more promising than the years before.

Pressure started to show itself when I found that my work life was sux thus explained all the unnecessary leaves that I took . At one point, I was so depressed and demotivated that I had to dragged my feet to the office every single day. What kept me going was only the pay that I received end of the month. I went through the compliance cycle with all the strength I have. I did what I had to do as an employee during the cycle. Things were harder with the massive changes in my portfolio when I had to take up a new big engagement which I have never dealt with before. It was even stressful when I had to work with people who you just have to constantly follow their mood swing. Despite of the tough cycle, I managed to get it over with with a great feeling and satisfaction. Subsequent to that, work was ok though I still seriously hunting for other jobs. Until now.

Family. I tried to be a good daughter and sister and tried to play my part well. To my surprise, I cannot be good at both at the same time. To my surprise, I can feel that I am a good sister but not a good daughter. I hate myself for not being a good daughter. I do not want to be a role model to my younger sisters for behaving like i did. Slowly, I tried to follow my parents' pace but it is just too difficult. I was being rebellious at times. Of course there were reasons to it and I didn't behave like that on purpose. At times, I just wished they would understand me better.

As far as sisters are concerned, I have no issues with my younger sisters. We are close and we do share lots of things. It is only with my elder sister that the string is a little bit tense. And that was normally the cause of me arguing with my parents. As a result, I decided to place a gap between my elder sister and I. But like a saying goes, " air dicincang tak akan putus", thus no matter how many and how bad the relationship was with my elder sister, we would still go out together doing things.

2008, I lost the relationship that I had tried so much to keep. I've put in so much effort into it. It was frustrating to see that the relationship was falling apart. When a relationship has involved mean words, swearing and hitting each other, what is there left for me to look for. I loosen the string with a heavy heart, all the hopes that I had for the relationship suddenly stop. After years of letting him treated me the way that he did, it eventually came to my conscience that he is not the one. After so much thoughts, I walked away. I walked away and I never think and look back on the relationship anymore. What does not kill you makes you stronger. Despite of all the sadness, frustration and feeling betrayed, i stand up and move on. To my surprise, I've actually started to move on even before I walked away. Thus explained why I decided to make that decision.

We don't always find the love we carry inside us, but love is fair, it gives me another chance. An occasion brought me closer to someone I had known during the years I was a student. In my heart, I just hope and pray for the best and that there is something in store for us in the future.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S - I love them to bits. People who share not only my happiness but also my problems and craps. People who know the real me. Alhamdulillah, having my good friends around makes life more wonderful and meaningful. They add spices to my life with their supports, laughters, stupid jokes, love and thousands more things. To my good friends (inside & outside of EY), and you know who are, thanks ever so much for the friendship.

It is embarrasing to admit that my relationship with Allah S.W.T in 2008 was far below my imagination. Teramat memalukan. If there were chargebility percentage to measure, I would say that mine was super bad. I will ensure that this improves in the coming years. InsyaAllah.

Finally, I hope that 2009 bring new changes, new beginnings and new discoveries for me. And that I am a better person to myself, people around me and as a khalifah di bumi Allah S.W.T. And I also wish that 2009 will be somewhat a more meaningful year for me. InsyaAllah.

What is happiness to you, Naz?

I remembered I was posed with this question before. Right after I graduated and only started working. My answer was, I want to get a good job, have lots and lots of money, shoppings, have fun, buy a car, buy a house. And now, after four years of finding my happiness and I have a good job, I have money (though not as much as i would imagine.. hehe), I can shop for fun, I have a car, I have a condo in the making, what's next?

Perhaps this would be next.. this would be part of my happiness...

***

While missing my creamy..

I was concentrating with my work at the office one afternoon while missing my creamy when suddenly there's a "new mail" window pops up. It was from a friend whom I haven't seen for a while. Started with the first email, we soon were chatting and replying each other via emails.. i guess we were so excited that we forgot the use of ym or sms for that matter... sigh!

Her email:
uittss.. babe.. pe citer now? happy semacammm.. lame x update.. ceppaaattt update..

My reply:
hahahhahaa.. mesti la happy x kan nak sedeh2 lak bila benda best happens.... tapi mana u tau i happy ni?? serkap eh?? ala x best la citer camni... nanti la i jumpa u one of these days eh... hahhahahha...

Her reply:
i yg jadi 'can't hardly wait'... si jay la niehh.. hubby i mmg pantas gossip dr i.. hahahhaha.. nway, i nk say congrats dulu.. ;p but i do want d detailssssssssssss... senyap2 eyhhhh.. chet! Anyone i know ker?

My reply:
ye la.. kena la senyap2.. takut terkandas lagi.. huhuhu... anyone u know? hmm... ntah la.. maybe.. hehehe..
but so far so good. maybe bcos we dah kenal lama kot.. so skrg just nak develop feelings and get to know more about each other. kelakar gak, tetiba perasaan tu dtg.. x pnh2 terpk akan exclusive dgn dia. and i am happy babe. u doa2 kan la i ek.

Her reply:
am so happy for u.. of course i will doakan kebahagiaan u. I juz want 2 c u happy n u deserved it. Who ever that person is (soon 2 find out...), do take care of urself n may Allah blessed d new relationship. take care darling ;p


By the time i wanted to reply her last reply, it was already 5.25pm.. hehehe.. xpe la.. i need to pack my stuffs.. time to go back.. i'm sure she would understand. But i was still missing my creamy at that time.....sigh.....

Something to look forward to in Feb 09

Rhianna live in KL - 13 February 2009

PGL The Musical Season 3 : 6 - 21 February 2009

YAY!! I've finally got the tickets for both. PGL was so hard to get. The ticket price that i wanted are fully booked for all nights. Last2 dpt gak on the 2oth night. So looking forward it.. especially cos I'm gonna go with my creamy..hehe..

As for Rhianna's concert, the girls n i are so excited that we bought the RM198 ticket just to be jumping up and down right in front of the stage. Best nya.. ;p

When she's happy.. (Volume 2)

If this is the reward after all the tough times I had to go through before.. alhamdulillah...

Kau begitu sempurna

A song for my other half..




Kau begitu sempurna
Dimataku kau begitu indah
kau membuat diriku akan slalu memujamu

Disetiap langkahku
Kukan slalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa kubayangkan hidupku tanpa cintamu

*
Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna.. Sempurna..

Kau genggam tanganku
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku


Song "Sempurna", by Andra and The Backbone

Baby..

you complete me...

A year ago

This was taken a year ago. I seriously miss this hair style. Tp susah sgt nak maintain.. plus the maintenance is super duper expensive ok. U need lots and lots of moose to hold the curl. And it was at its best when it is wet. So every time nak keluar kena basah kan rambut.. uish.. susah betul. I kept this style for about 6 months jer before i decided to straighten back my hair. Hmm.. most of my peeps think i look more "riang" with this hair style.. ye ker..

When she's happy..

*****

Pick me, choose me, love me..

:: to whom this may concern ::